Playing Church

THEM: We’re doing the Lord’s work.

ME: You sure? Cuz it looks suspiciously like a bunch of people doing busy work to maintain an organization they created for their ego.
@FailingPastor

 

 

Churches like to keep people busy. If people are busy in church, then the church is doing something and the people are doing something. Doing something is the sign of things being done. And if things are being done in the church, then those things being done must be good.

The church convinced people that service to the Lord only takes place at church. Therefore people now want their every spiritual desire turned into a church sanctioned event or included in a church service with church approval.

But here’s the thing: you don’t need the pastor or the church’s approval to do ministry. Just go help people.

As a pastor, the guy in charge of what’s going on in the church, I began examining the results of our busy-ness. There were very few, if any, spiritual results. In fact, some of our stuff seemed to be having a negative spiritual effect.

I called out our church over concerns I had with our youth program, which was successful by external measures. Every year we begged people to volunteer because we had so many kids coming. We needed bodies to fill roles. Eventually our standards for leadership dipped so low, I had to pull the plug.

I told the church, “It is impossible for spiritual leadership to take place if there are no spiritual leaders.” I told the church that we were not doing our youth program until we get our act together as a church.

My hope was that people would rally and ask what they could do to help each other grow and defeat sin. Instead, half the church left.

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Pastor Depression

THEM: They say pastors struggle with depression. Do you?

ME: I stopped struggling with depression many years ago. Now I embrace it.
@FailingPastor

 

 

Pessimism is in my DNA. Depression symptoms sound like results from my personality test.

At the same time, I believe in hope. Love hopes all things. I love people, but not in a gushy, sentimental way. I love by trying to do be helpful. You would think people would enjoy having a pastor like that.

You would be incorrect. I once shared some statistics with the church board: the more hours I spend with someone, the more likely they are to leave the church. I had a chart. People I “help” get mad and leave.

The church has increased my depression a hundredfold. I maintain hope, but my hope is not in people; my hope is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe any given Sunday could wake people up to see the truth and change their lives.

Instead, every Sunday I pour my heart and soul into my message and wait expectantly for something to happen. So far, every Sunday has been followed by either criticism, empty compliments, or total silence. Even if someone does exuberantly respond to the message on Sunday, by Thursday the exuberance will be gone.

Nothing happens.

Well, OK, maybe not “nothing.” Lots of people have gotten mad and left.  They leave without saying anything. They just disappear and make me track them down and hound them for a reason why they left. Then they tell me how happy they are since they’ve left.

It’s depressing. Week in and week out, to have the only feedback be nothing, punctuated occasionally by people getting mad and leaving. Fun times.

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Happiness Is No Barometer of Truth

“The fact that your new doctrine makes you ‘happier than you’ve ever been before,’ doesn’t mean it’s right.”
@FailingPastor

 

 

People have problems. Rather than admit their problems and solve them, people justify, excuse, and cover them. Happiness is one of the ways people cover their problems.

Exuberant happiness covers a multitude of sad truth.

Pastors know things about people. We know the lives, families, and marriages that are falling apart. Sometimes we know it before they do; we can read the writing on the wall while they’re still looking elsewhere for someone to interpret. One warning sign of trouble is when a person gets happy.

I’m not just saying this because I think pessimism is next to godliness. Happiness truly is a warning sign.

Guilt takes many forms. Disturbed consciences act out. Sure, some get crabby, hostile, and violent, which is also not good, but many go the opposite direction.

When people leave church, they don’t simply leave. They go in a way that proves they are spiritually superior for doing so. After departing, they act super happy to show they were right for having left.

Continue reading “Happiness Is No Barometer of Truth” →

Losing Faith to Own The Faith

“The more faith I lose in people,
The more faith I gain in God.”
–@FailingPastor

 

I’ve never been a huge fan of people. I have a birth defect that causes me trouble. As a kid I was made fun of all the time, or so it felt. I became resentful and bitter. I sat back and judged people. I picked people apart and developed a sarcastic, biting sense of humor.

Growing older was one of my biggest goals in life, escaping childhood and leaving the junior high mentality behind. Things got better until I became a pastor.

Church and junior high are cousins. I am stunned by the things people have said and done to me as a pastor. And again, I had a pretty low view of humanity to begin with!

I expect derision, mockery, and rudeness from the world, but repeatedly getting it from the church does a number on a guy.

I struggle with cynicism. I am so accustomed to being hurt by people in the church; I take nothing at face value anymore.

When I first became pastor, one of the guys who viewed himself as important in the church was very nice to me. He and his wife gave us gifts and arranged people to help us move in. He did things around the church as I transitioned in. He took my wife and I out to eat regularly.

One Sunday he invited my family and another couple over for a steak dinner. While their wives cornered my wife in the kitchen, these two guys took me into the living room and sat me in the lowest chair. They both stood over me and told me what I was and wasn’t supposed to do in “their church” as pastor.

This was not the last time a seemingly friendly overture was turned into some sort of backstabbing, power-play cover for nefarious ends.

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What Is A Failing Pastor?

“How can you be a failing pastor when you serve the Great King Jesus?”

–Tweet from a person who doesn’t know me

 

Well, it isn’t hard really. How, in fact, could I not be failing while serving the Great King Jesus?

Why do I refer to myself as a failing pastor?

I consider myself a failure by every measure of success the world, and most of the church, upholds. I make less money today than when I started. More people have left my church over the years than are in it, by multiples. I have not built a large church building. I speak at no conferences. No one has any idea who I am outside of the handful of people who still somewhat regularly show up at church.

I do not buy into church growth advice. I do not pursue hip, trendy, or relevant ends with hip, trendy, relevant means. I find zero scriptural support for such things. I know, “Paul became all things to all men so that by all means he might win some.” True and this is the same guy who said he did not come to them with persuasive words of man’s wisdom. The same guy who said if he pleased men he would not be the servant of Christ.

The Gospel is an offense and is foolishness to the world. Jesus Christ, the central figure of the Gospel, was crucified when He came into the world. That should be an indicator.

Churches know the Gospel is offensive. Churches know there is no money in preaching the Gospel. Therefore, churches become places that preach a specific agenda to win their chosen target demographic. “Find out what the people want and give it to them” is Church Growth 101.

Continue reading “What Is A Failing Pastor?” →