Fathers and Priests

A priest, in the biblical sense of the word, is someone who intercedes on behalf of someone else before God.

Not all priests were official priests. Take Job for instance.

Job probably lived during the time of the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Job was probably the first written book of the Bible.

Melchizedek was out there at this time too, and is referred to as a priest, so he seems to be the first official priestly office holder (Genesis 14:18).

But Job made sacrifices for his kids and interceded for them in case they cursed God in their hearts (Job 1:5).

There is no explanation of this behavior, no mention as to whether it “worked.” But it is mentioned in part as proof of the uprightness of Job. It certainly wasn’t a bad thing.

That role is similar to what a priest does.

Perhaps fathers were the first priests. Any good dad will petition God on behalf of his kids. Good dads are aware of their children’s sins and weaknesses, the areas of life they will have trouble in.

I have prayed many, many times for my children. I did this when they were little when they had no real notion of God or prayer. They aren’t living in conscious awareness of God, and I know it needs to occur, so I did it for them.

When they were and are older, I pray for them because I know they are out there on their own doing who knows what. I don’t really know their heart. I know they are in a young part of life where they get busy and might not be thinking about God or prioritizing life in light of Him as well as they could. So I pray for them.

My kids do not need me as a mediator between them and God. Christ is the one mediator. I’m not saying I’m actually their priest, I’m saying that the father role is priest-like!

I don’t know if any of my prayers for my kids have made an actual difference. I don’t know if God is more merciful to them on account of my prayers for them.

I guess I don’t really care, in one sense. It’s a natural outflow of loving my kids. I do know that things are working out ok for me and them, and part of that has to at least be on account of my loving concern for their spiritual health. I can’t imagine things would be better if I hadn’t done all that on their behalf.

The priest knew more about God and saw more about God than the children of Israel did. They knew, or were supposed to know, more and were to take their increased knowledge of God, plus their responsibility as leaders of the people, seriously and intercede.

Parents do the same thing. They know more than their kids. They know more of God and the spiritual needs of their kids if they are paying attention. How can a parent not intercede on behalf of their kids?

One way is if the parents are spiritually dead themselves and simply not concerned for spiritual things. Another way is when parents get their kids saved by forcing them in so many ways to “say the prayer.” Once they “get them saved,” they cease worrying about the eternal state of their children.

This is not good parenting or priesting.

Parents have a critical role in the spiritual health of their children. Kids reflect their parents. There are always exceptions to the rule, but they are pretty rare.

Be spiritually concerned for your kids, no matter how old they are or whether or not you think they are saved. It’s sort of the job of being a parent. This is especially true if you are a pastor. The Apostle Paul says if you’re not a good father you shouldn’t be a pastor (1 Timothy 3:4-5). I imagine this means something.

In all your concern for the spiritual health of people in your church, start with the people in your family.

Why Are You A Pastor?

In my talks with pastors over the years, I’m not sure why many of them are in the ministry. Some are pretty blunt that they have to make money and they don’t know what else to do. One of the downsides of seminary education is that you are not qualified to do anything. Although, that appears to be the point of all education at this point, but I digress.

When I was preparing for pastoral ministry, my main motivation was thinking I could make the church better. I was judgmental about how churches did stuff. Instead of just complaining about the church, get in there and help if you know so much.

That was my thinking at the time. There was a bit of a Messiah Complex going on, not gonna lie. The church that showed interest in my help was in sort of a desperate situation, a perfect place for a messiah to go. It was a perfect fit.

And, as you can imagine, worked out terribly.

I know other pastors who approached ministry this way as well. They were honestly trying to help the church, but by “help the church” we mean “do church the way that makes me comfortable.”

I think this is the impulse behind 97% of church planting efforts: Let’s finally get a church that does everything how we want it done.

Yes, I know, I’m cynical, I’m also pretty observant and that sure looks like what’s going on.

The Apostle Paul in 1 Timothy 2 explains why he is in the ministry. It’s slightly different from my reason:

God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the ma Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle. (1 Timothy 2:3b-7a)

It appears as though Paul entered the ministry to make much of Christ and let people know Christ was the way and means of salvation. His preaching ministry was to make Christ known.

What a weirdo.

Obviously we all know this is the reason to go into ministry. Duh. In fact, most of us would probably even say it if we were asked, or at least something pretty close. Yet anytime a guy says this is his reason for being in ministry, I’ma go ahead and judge him. “Yeah right. I bet, you sanctimonious fruitcake.”

We know it’s the right answer and that actually it’s the only answer, yet we also know the thoughts and intents of our heart.

Is that really why I’m doing this?
Would I do this if I weren’t getting paid?
Would I do it on my “day off?”

What about to those annoying people I’m sick of talking to?

But wait, does that mean I don’t have to do hospital visits then because I’m too busy preaching about Jesus, because if so, I’d totally make more of Christ then.

What we say we believe is best revealed by what we do. You can say all day long that you are a pastor to glorify Christ, but what do you actually do?

Paul said he was in ministry to proclaim salvation and sufficiency in Christ. That’s the right answer. Is it your answer? Is it your answer in words, or is that actually what you’re doing?

Think about it, and act accordingly.

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If you’d like to hear more about my failed Messiahship of a ministry, I wrote a book. CLICK HERE to get a copy of it. There are 9 tips for how to not grow your church for only $3.50!

Pastors Should Be Poor

Let me begin by saying that I was a pastor for 21 years and for most of those years I was poor. And, just so we’re clear, my family and I were in the 0% tax bracket. And that’s not because we were playing games with taxes; that’s because we were poor.

And let me also say that the “richest” I was, the time when I was paid the most, was in the first couple years of my ministry. My salary shrunk over time and that was mostly due to my voluntary pay cuts.

The reason I mention this is because I am fully aware of the common assumption that what I personally did is the best and only way to do things. Since I was a poor pastor, therefore, any pastor who wants to be spiritual like me should also be poor.

That probably plays into my opinion some, but I like to think Scripture plays into it more.

The time in my career when I was paid the most was also the time when I was preaching what people wanted to hear. I mostly did this because I didn’t know what else to say. I was preaching the party line, which is pretty much the only line I knew. People were happy and the church grew and I got paid more.

I began to feel terrible about this. The fact I was getting paid a lot, while honestly having no idea what I was talking about, ate at my soul.

To remedy this I began reading the Bible consistently. Over my 21 years of pastoral ministry I read the Bible over 40 times, again, not saying this to sound uber-spiritual, just pointing out what I did to remedy my lack of knowledge.

As I began reading the Bible I began to see that the party line I was taught was not biblical. Being a person with the Holy Spirit, an awareness of my responsibility and accountability before God, and a measure of self-respect, I had to preach what I was learning.

People did not like this. People want their pastors to be sure of themselves, not shifting or changing beliefs. In other words: people don’t want their pastors to grow.

I also noticed how often money was an issue in the Bible. 1 Timothy 6 is pretty much the only passage you’d need to see how dangerous money is to spiritual health, but there are many more.

1 Timothy 6 is in what we call “the Pastoral Epistles.” I imagine there’s a reason for this. Money is dangerous to spiritual health. Going after and getting money leads to spiritual shipwreck. That’s not me; read 1 Timothy 6.

Pastors should be poor for several reasons:

1) The Bible

The Book is pretty clear. You can’t serve two masters, you cannot serve God and mammon (money and all it can get you). This idea was not taught in a corner; it’s all over the place in the Bible once you see it.

2) The Church

The pastor will affect the church. A pastor who is rich, or desires to be rich, will teach false doctrine. To attract people, which is how you get paid more, you will teach what keeps people coming, and you primarily need rich people coming. One of the miraculous signs of the Messiah is not only healing people and raising the dead, but that He would preach to the poor (Matthew 11:5). It’s that astounding and acted as a unique sign. Preaching to the poor doesn’t pay well. Rich pastors don’t bother with such wastes of time.

3) The Judgment

Pastors will give an account for what they said and did in front of a church. You lead by example, whether you want to or not. People will follow. If the pastor has money, people will assume it’s ok. The rich pastor will not preach on the multitude of Scriptures that say money is dangerous. Having money will make your stand before the Lord potentially terrible. Ezekiel 34 is a huge warning to the spiritual leaders of Israel who did their shepherding for their own gain. There is a warning here for New Testament shepherds as well. OT shepherds have already gotten judgment dropped on them, what do you think similar shepherds in the NT will get?

4) The Pastoral Office

Pastoral ministry has an eternal component to it, a spiritual burden if you will. If pastoral jobs pay well, it will attract people who want money rather than those with a spiritual burden to serve. It will be harder to tell who really has spiritual priorities if the pay is good. Benefit packages should not be why a pastor wants a job.

5) The Pastor

The Bible is clear that money has the potential to destroy your soul. It will choke out fruitfulness. As a pastor gets paid more, spiritual vigor will decline and focus on material things will increase. Good soldiers of Jesus Christ endure hardness. Rich people get soft. You’ll lose more battles. Your soul is at stake.

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I’m not saying churches should slash pastoral salaries tomorrow. I’m not praising churches that underpay their pastors out of their own stinginess, or to “teach him a lesson in trusting God.”

What I’d prefer, what I’d recommend, is that all pastors consider this very carefully. Decide between you and the Lord how much money you actually need. If necessary, take a pay cut. Not out of arrogance or to be seen, but out of a faithful accountability to God. Pastors should be people who don’t mind being poor and prefer it to be so. That’s the point.

Money is a huge issue in the Bible. It doesn’t get taken seriously in our affluent age. Luckily for us, our affluent age is about to take a hit, whether you choose it or not! This will work out just fine for everyone who already knows money is a sham anyway. Lead the way, pastors!

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If you’d like to hear more of my accumulated pastoral “wisdom” that shrunk my church, I wrote a book. CLICK HERE to get a copy of it. There are 9 tips for how to not grow your church for only $3.50! And, in a consistent effort to remain poor even while not a pastor anymore, I only get $1 of profit from each book sold!

Pastors: Battle the Wimpy Gospel that’s Overtaken the Church

One of the primary pastoral battles I fought was combating the wimpy Gospel that has consumed the church.

The wimpy Gospel goes something like this:

Christ died for your sins. If you believe that, all your sins are forgiven. No matter what you do, you’re saved and forgiven. Don’t worry about doing good works or bearing fruit. You don’t have to do anything, in fact, if you try to do good, be careful! You might be falling from grace and into legalism.

This sort of Gospel doesn’t always sound like this, sometimes it sounds more spiritual and theological. Other times it’s flippant and over the top happy. It has grains of truth in it, that’s why it’s so deceptive.

But the bottom line of this wimpy Gospel is: cool, now that you’re saved you can sin and get away with it! If we get away with sin, why bother fighting it or doing good!

I preached in a church not long ago about 1 Corinthians 9 where Paul said he made his body his slave, disciplined it so he could run to win. I encouraged people to go for it, use all that is available to you in the Gospel, put it to use, use some energy, zeal, and striving to get eternal reward. The sermon was meant to encourage, to provoke action, to stir people to use Gospel provision. Athletes do massive work for temporal rewards that someone else will eventually take. We have so much better stuff to go get, where is our discipline and effort?

I was told afterwards that the message was dangerous because it told people to do good works.

It’s unreal. Christians spend all week working, putting in time and effort for money. They use effort and discipline to pursue their hobbies and exercise, even their stupid golf game. They get into various diets and regulate their calorie intake. Everything important in life they work at to get a desired result. It’s how life works.

But then they come to their faith and there’s just nothing. Not only is there no exercise or discipline, but they have invented doctrines to excuse their apathetic laziness. “Grace” is typically the word that these excuses get pinned on.

“Faith” is another one. “It’s by faith, not by works!” Yes, salvation certainly is by faith. I cannot work my way into salvation. I cannot remove my sin and guilt. I cannot rebirth myself into a spiritual creation capable of entering eternal life with my Savior.

But with faith it is possible to please Him. We’ve turned the Gospel into “the thing that saves me and doesn’t pay off until I’m dead and in heaven.” It’s as if the Gospel has nothing to do with the life in between salvation and death.

The gospel is new life in Christ Jesus. By faith we were crucified with Him, buried with Him, and raised up with Him to newness of life. A new life where we yield the members of our body as instruments of righteousness and bring forth fruit unto holiness with the end everlasting life. Eternal rewards are held out for us.

You will stand before God someday. Many are expecting to hear “well done, good and faithful servant” because they said a 34 second prayer when they were six and proceeded to do jack squat with the Gospel since.

The Gospel is here to transform the life. We decrease and Christ increases. No longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. We are to grow into the perfect man Christ Jesus. Yes, we will not fully be like Him until we see Him as He is, but until then you can have as much of Him as you want to go get in this present world.

Yet anytime this hope, this joy, this goal, this privilege is held out for people to go get, I’m met with charges of legalism and works righteousness and accusations I think salvation is earned by our merit.

Nope, I’m just saying if you truly understand what Christ is holding out for you, the blessing and fruit that are available: then go get it! Paul says to remind them to do good works so they are not unfruitful.

We’ve exaggerated faith without works so much people think works are still evil even after salvation. I’ve had believers tell me that even after salvation all their works are filthy rags.

Whatever it takes to get us out of responsibility is what we go to. No one wants to be accountable. But to whom much is given, much is required. We’ve been given a ton in the Gospel. It is required in a steward that they be found faithful.

I said this for 21 years in a church and pretty much everyone left. I said all this in a church a few weeks ago and was told it was a dangerous message.

I don’t get it. I want more of Christ. I don’t know about you. I do. I’m attempting to do all I can to get as much of Him now as possible. The New Testament is filled with commands about how to do this, what to do, what works to pursue. This isn’t dangerous; this is life more abundant.

The Church better wake up. Bad times are coming and we’re soft. Hardly anyone is preparing. No one is exercising or disciplining themselves. A test is coming, The Day is right around the corner. I suggest we get ready. It is high time to wake out of slumber.

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This is What Caused Me to Resign From Pastoral Ministry

Over 21 years of pastoral ministry I heard many criticisms and compliments. Some really hurt. Some were ridiculous. Some were right.

But the thing that wore me out, the thing that drove me to resign, was not the criticisms or compliments, it was the mundane apathetic silence.

I shared my heartfelt study of the word week after week largely to be ignored, or worse, people went the opposite direction. I counseled, warned, encouraged, did the things I thought I was supposed to do.

Nothing. Nothing followed by nothing followed by eventual destroyed lives.

There are depths of frustration and sorrow you get to when you know you’re bringing exactly what people need (the Gospel and God’s Word) to solve their problems and yet it gets rejected.

In other words, it wasn’t the personal attacks and criticisms that wore me out. It was watching lives implode while yelling the wisdom of God into the abyss they kept falling further into.

Criticize me all you want. Find fault with how I speak, spend money, dress, and all the other stuff. I don’t care. Not an issue. But please listen to the wisdom of God.

At the same time, some people thought simply complimenting me would have made me continue. Some have expressed regret, “We should have appreciated you more.”

I appreciate that, but it’s not the issue really. No amount of compliments will make up for watching lives implode on a regular basis despite efforts to help.

And yes, I know, God is the one that grows people and I can’t do anything. I know. I get that. It still hurts. As Paul said, “Knowing the terror of the Lord we persuade men.” Yet people don’t respond, which is why Paul also said he had “continual sorrow in his heart” by watching his people resist the truth.

I knew where many people were headed and it wasn’t good. I called out to them, begged them, pleaded with them, warned them, comforted them, and I did all that as God by His Spirit worked through me.

I didn’t need a buzz from people to keep me going. I felt a burden from the Lord to serve and teach and pray and do all things for all men so that by all means I might win some.

Eternally I will be judged and rewarded (if deserved) for my ministry. Temporally, on this earth, it looked like it mostly went to waste.

I didn’t need more compliments and fewer criticisms. I learned to not take either one too seriously. What I wanted was to see spiritual life, growth, sanctification, and maturity. With a few exceptions, I mostly saw apathy and lots of sin.

Seeing people grow in Christ would have kept me in the ministry; not more compliments.

I will give an account to the Lord for my ministry. I wanted to do it with joy. Instead I will do it with grief (Hebrews 13:17). This will not be good for anyone involved.

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If you’d like to hear more of my accumulated pastoral “wisdom,” I wrote a book. CLICK HERE to get a copy of it, because that’ll make me feel better about myself!

The Two Stupidest Criticisms I Heard About My Pastoral Ministry

Over my 21 years of pastoral ministry I heard many criticisms of me, the church, and my ministry. Some of them had merit, others did not. But there are two that stand out as the stupidest criticisms of all time. Some details have been changed to protect the stupid.

1) A couple in our church were having marriage difficulties. One day the man got arrested for threatening his wife.

While he was in jail the wife called me a few times seeking help. One time she asked if someone could mow her lawn. I arranged for someone to mow her lawn. We had several discussions on the phone about the “situation” involving her husband.

When the husband got out of jail he found out that the wife had talked to me. So he came over to my house. When I saw his SUV pull up in the driveway I went outside to meet him. I had three small kids in the house and figured it would be best to keep him outside.

He parked behind our car that was in the garage. He proceeded to go off on me and my ministry, rolling through his list of reasons I was an idiot. I knew his whole deal had nothing to do with me and was more his own guilt and self-justifications. I did not respond much at all. Just stood there and listened to his rant.

When he exhausted his list, he made up one more problem. He pointed to my seven year old Toyota Camry in the garage. “Pretty nice car for a pastor,” he said. “Must be nice.” I just laughed because seriously a Toyota Camry? Meanwhile, his brand new SUV was parked right behind it! Unreal.

This happened about 10 years ago. The guy is now dead. The Camry still runs fine. My son just got it stuck in a snowbank this afternoon. But yeah, a Camry is too nice of a car for a pastor. A classic moment in my illustrious career.

2) A person who attended our church sporadically for a few years used to go around to churches all over the state asking for money. She had an alleged handicap, which prevented her from working but did not prevent her from asking churches all over the state for money.

I had many unusual moments with this individual, including her asking my recently widowed grandma to give her my grandma’s house since that’s what Jesus would do and also once made veiled threats to kidnap my kids.

Anyway, I, who have an actual handicap, am not able to drive because I am legally blind. I would often ride my bike for transportation, many of those places had to do with my job. I’d visit people and go to meetings and all sorts of stuff via my bike. Everyone in the church was well aware of this arrangement. I received a letter from this woman once that said, and I quote, “I saw you on your bike again. You seem to do that a lot. Must be nice to be a pastor where you can play all week.”

So, there you have it. Two of the stupidest criticisms I received as a pastor.

Now I know that everyone receives criticism in their jobs and general life, but I gotta tell ya, being a pastor sure brought out the stupid criticisms. Finding fault with a pastor is necessary for many people to assuage their guilt. They have to prove they are better than you to buttress their spiritual superiority. People can’t just leave churches, they have to be better than the people they are leaving, especially better than the pastor.

Every pastor has heard completely stupid criticisms of their ministry. The thing that always blew my mind was that there were plenty of legitimate criticisms people could have thrown at me! But they skipped those ones and made up ones that weren’t even remotely factual.

Fun stuff. Good luck out there pastors! Fight the fight. Do well and prepare yourself for the stupidest criticisms possible because they’re coming.

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If you want to hear more about my completely stupid ministry, I wrote a book about it. CLICK HERE to get a copy, because I went through the trouble of writing it!

My Failed Attempt to Pastor a Diseased Church

One criticism I hear frequently from Christians is that when a pastor resigns or a church doesn’t grow, it’s because the pastor wasn’t called, or lacked faith, or was doing it in his own power and not the Spirit’s, and other similar things.

In other words, it’s the pastor’s fault if a church doesn’t grow or the pastor quits.

As if the church doesn’t have anything to do with it.

I know good pastors who had churches with problems. Those pastors left in total discouragement. They did a good job. They had good hearts. The church is at least partially at fault.

I’m observant enough to know it’s not always the church’s fault. There are bad pastors who do their job terribly. I am not attempting to justify terrible pastors. My attempt is to defend quality pastors.

I, in my own humble opinion, was a quality pastor! Was I perfect? No, I made mistakes and can list the top ten without too much pause for reflection.

But my heart was right. I was devoted to the Lord Jesus Christ and His Word and His Gospel. I preached the Word faithfully. I prayed regularly, visited people, knew the people, and honestly loved the people even if I was often confused about what that love should do. I took stands for righteousness and truth, while doing my best to extend grace and mercy.

I got nowhere.

The church didn’t grow. It shrunk. I earned less per year after 21 years than I did when I began. To all measurable standards of success, I was a complete failure.

Although many miss this, the reason I call myself the Failing Pastor is not because I think I’m a failure; it’s because the church clearly let me know I was. Before the Lord, I did what I thought was right and I’ll let Him judge my ministry. Before people, well, they all let me know what a loser I was.

As I said, it doesn’t take long for me to come up with legit mistakes I made. No pastor thinks they nailed everything correctly.

But I also know my church had issues that more or less made it impossible for anything good to occur.

No doubt some of you are thinking, “Wow, who does this guy think he is?” Let me explain some stuff about the church I was at and you tell me if this church didn’t have issues!

Here are some facts about the church I served for 21 years. All of these things were true of the church before I got there. None of these things were my doing! They were in place before I arrived.

1. They thought the only part of the Bible we had to follow were the epistles of Paul. You could not make any point to them from any other book of the Bible. The Old Testament was right out. The previous pastor even said OUT LOUD that he didn’t think the Apostle Paul understood grace until the last two chapters of 2 Timothy!

2. Salvation was proved by having said The Prayer. That’s it. Nothing else was needed or required. Repentance was out. Obedience was legalism. Faith was simply a mental assent that Jesus did a thing and I like it.

3. Grace was emphasized so much that good works were viewed as being bad. If you did something good, now you had your own righteousness to depend on. It’s better to sin and rely on grace. Should we sin that grace may abound? They pretty much yelled, “ABSOLUTELY, YES!”

4. They determined that baptism and communion were not necessary for the church age. All physical things like that were Jewish and law.

5. They turned grace into legalism. My favorite example is when I wore a tie to church one Sunday a few months into my pastoral career. I was confronted in the hallway, backed up against the wall by the supposed “head of the church,” and told “Why are you wearing a tie? We don’t wear ties here; we’re not legalists.” The irony of that statement has not even to this day ceased to amaze me.

6. They had no board. Church leadership resided in the pastor and his two yes-men. They controlled the money and all decisions in the church and did a fine job lording it over the people. The two yes-men continued to lord it over me when I got there.

7. There were many odd money things going on in the books that I soon discovered upon getting there. Their largest expense of the year was “Miscellaneous.” There was some money laundering going on. It was a mess to sort it out and get it cleaned up.

8. The only thing the church did was a one hour meeting each Sunday. That was it. One hour. Fifty-five minutes of which was the pastor berating the people about his peculiar views of gracish legalism.

9. The previous pastor once preached that he hoped more people in his church would live with each other and do all the sexing outside of marriage so they would know they trusted God’s grace. If anyone disagreed with him, he once said (in a sermon recorded on tape) “you can go to hell.”

10. People on one side of the church didn’t know the names of people on the other side of the church. There was no love, no fellowship, just a worshipping of the pastor with some Pauline verses about grace sprinkled in.

So, yeah, go right ahead and tell me the reason I failed at this church was because of me! I confronted all these issues. I confronted the two yes-men (who left soon after). I preached the Bible. This church who didn’t like the Old Testament, guess what I did? “Take your Bible and open to Genesis chapter 1.” Then I spent twelve years expositorally preaching through the Old Testament. Ha! That still cracks me up.

I did not back down from the church’s weirdness and endeavored to do all I could to rescue the perishing in the church. Several were set free from the false teaching. But most clung to it desperately and fought me for years before leaving in terrible, not very gracious, ways.

I added a Sunday School, a midweek Bible Study, social events, we supported missionaries, which they had never done before. I began a benevolence fund. We did communion regularly and I baptized people. I had a board of deacons and always endeavored to train up more elders. I tried doing church the way the New Testament says to do it.

I fought the fight. I thought it might work. It didn’t. It just slowly died.

Two weeks after I resigned the church voted to cancel all church events except one hour of preaching on Sundays. Right back where it started. They didn’t want a church. I didn’t want to pastor a non-church.

Any charge that my resignation was a result of me not caring, only doing it for the money, not being called, or anything else, is rather humorous to me. I took a diseased church and tried to get the people to heal it. They preferred the disease.

I got out before I got diseased.

That’s my story. Sometimes there are bad churches. I applaud all pastors who are fighting to help those churches become true, legit, New Testament churches. It’s a battle worth fighting, even if in the end you “lose.”

You were at least in the arena fighting it out. There came a point for me where I had to get out. It wasn’t working, nor was it going to. I was done. I tried. The swine won’t get any more pearls from me. I’m out.

21 years, to all appearances, I failed. The church is right back where it started before I spent 21 years trying to help it. I have something to do with the failure, I have to admit I wasn’t perfect. But the Lord knows my heart was in it and I tried to do the right thing.

Fight the fight, pastors! Do the right thing before the Lord and don’t let the goats get you down. The Lord is the ultimate judge of my ministry and I’ll let Him do it and let me know if I failed or not. He’ll do the same for you.

Pastor like you’re standing before the Lord, because some day you will be.

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If you want to hear more about my failed attempt to do what I could do help a diseased church, I wrote a book about it. CLICK HERE to get a copy, because I went through the trouble of writing it!

Why My Current Job is so Much Easier than Being a Pastor

I recently tweeted:

I used to be a pastor and now I am a small business owner.

Owning a small business is a breeze and way less stressful. I know everyone thinks all job problems are the same.

They aren’t. Pastoral ministry was brutal.

This has gotten a mixed response. Mostly the response from pastors who have left professional ministry for another career agreed entirely. Maybe two did not, citing their new job as equally stressful (one is a junior high teacher!).

Current pastors were largely sympathetic, but several told me in so many words what a loser I am. One said he enjoyed his church, but also understood my sentiment.

To clarify the confusion, here is a larger explanation as to why I say running a business is way easier than being a pastor.

1. No one is going to hell if I mess up. And, yes, I know all the theological explanations about how I’m not actually sending anyone to hell. I get it. But still. Do you know how many people have left the church over my 21 years of being a pastor and specifically said it was because of me or what I teach? Try doing it for 21 years in a church sucked deep into false teaching, hearing regularly that my teaching has ruined their life, some have left the faith, others sit at home feeling justified. I even think I was preaching what was right. I take the Bible very seriously. I wasn’t playing games. I know I was speaking truth and correcting false teaching in the church. And for 21 years the overall response was denial of what I taught. There comes a point where casting pearls before swine is done.

2. I know what I’m supposed to do. Business is simple: make money. You can judge how you’re doing by the Bottom Line. Being a pastor has no Bottom Line that is measurable. I know God is the judge and I know if I deserve any reward He is the only one who can grant them. I’m fine with that, it’s the only reason I made it 21 years! But so much of my ministry to people stuck in sin and false teaching, I had no clue what I was supposed to do. I wasn’t the one with the problems. I wasn’t the one doing weird stuff, but I was constantly put in a position to figure out how to best show grace and righteousness with weird people doing weird things. I had no discernable way to measure my effectiveness. This is why churches end up counting baptisms, attendance, offerings, building expansions, etc. It’s a tangible way to prove that “God is really working here.” Is it though? I know discipleship, spiritual fruit, Christ-likeness, and spiritual maturity are the measures, but they are hard to measure in others. Pastors who leave churches assume those who were “doing well” when they left are still doing well. Stick around long enough to see that those you thought were progressing really weren’t.

3. No matter what I say, someone will throw back at me some over simplified spiritual point with a Bible verse attached to tell me how wrong I am. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the reason why my ministry didn’t go well and why I resigned is because “You were serving yourself not God.” “You were just in it for the money.” “You were doing it in your own power not in the Spirit’s power.” Hey, it’s possible, I’m human. But I was there the whole time with the Lord. He and I went through it together. I know what I did and where my heart was. One thing I learned after 21 years of being a pastor is to not listen to glib judgments, especially when received from people on the internet. Say whatever you want, but I’m just letting you know that constantly telling pastors the reason they are failing is because they don’t have faith is one of the reasons they are depressed. Are all pastors supposed to remain pastors until they die? Even OT priests were done after 20 years. I know a guy who has changed careers 6 times in two years. No one has ever quoted a verse or doubted his salvation or told him he lacked faith because he did this. Why, after a guy serves for 21 years at the same church, do the judgmental, sanctimonious statements come flying? It’s a bizarre thing. As Job said to his friends, “Miserable counselors are you all.”

4. My family does not have to sacrifice or get steamrolled. The accusations said about me and my family over the years are amazing. My wife and kids went to all kinds of church stuff. They filled in doing things when no one else showed up. They didn’t get paid. I hardly got paid. I couldn’t provide for them as I would have liked. They saw me get pummeled by people. Take shots and come home and just be shattered. They saw the people who slowly stop coming to church and saw the ridiculous things their lives soon brought forth. Pastor’s families see and hear it all. It’s why so many pastors’ kids walk away. Mine have not. I am eternally grateful for this. And from now on they don’t have to see and hear it all anymore.

5. I don’t have to know all the sordid details of every customer’s life. I knew everyone in my church. I knew most of their sins and problems, sometimes because they told me, sometimes because the church is really good at gossip. I paid attention. I knew what was going on with people. I cared for them. I knew things. I’m so glad I don’t have to know everything about everyone I know anymore. Most of what I knew broke my heart. I spent time with people. Communicated with them regularly. I also knew every single problem they had with me, either because they told me or because the church is really good at gossip. It was too much. I simply couldn’t carry on knowing this much about people. I’m not equipped to do it.

6. Guilty people and their dumb excuses have been wonderfully absent from my life. No one lies to me about what they were doing Sunday. No one immediately changes their behavior and speech around me when they find out I’m a pastor. No one tries to avoid me. Even people who left my church in terrible ways talk to me now that I’m not a pastor. It’s amazing. If you want every relationship in your life to be ruined by people’s guilt, then be a pastor.

I guess I’ll stop here. I‘m sure I could keep going, but this gives the general idea.

Running a business is simple in comparison. I know what I’m doing and I know how I’m doing. No one is guilty around me. No one over spiritualizes stuff around me. After a bad day with the business, no one judges me and throws verses at me letting me know my lack of faith is what caused that. I can just do my business without all the weirdness.

And, as many have asked, I am going to church. I get to preach and teach occasionally. I am way more emotionally and mentally able to do such things and have found it immensely enjoyable.

If you’d like more of what my pastoral ministry was like, some more details of how it went, I did recently publish a book about my experience. It’s one pastor’s experience and certainly I hope it won’t be any other pastor’s experience. Perhaps you will find something helpful in it.

CLICK HERE to get a copy because I went through the trouble of writing it!

The Failing Pastor’s New Book

I am definitely a guy who processes things through writing. This blog and my twitter account have been immensely helpful in helping me process my 21 years of pastoral ministry.

I also began putting together some of my blog posts along with other stuff into book form. My daughter, who is in college for graphic design, made the book look pretty nice and is now available on Amazon.

How to Not Grow Your Church by the Failing Pastor can be yours today!

I detail the things I did that I thought were biblical that ended up making my church shrink. Not sure if that will happen in every church if these things are done, but it sure did in mine!

The book is short and broken up into short sections. The advice inside might very will ruin your life. But take it from me: it’s totally worth it.

Probably.

CLICK HERE to get your copy. It’s available in paperback, hardcover, and e-book.

My Resignation Sermon

I put a battery in my old MP3 player that I used to record my sermons and found an audio file I don’t remember making!

It was a rehearsal sermon of my resignation from my church. I did it in the quiet of my office with the intent of posting it for the church to hear.

The situation was a little weird as to why I recorded it. My mother was struggling with cancer and the week of my resignation she took a turn for the worse. I thought I might miss the Sunday my resignation was planned for to have to go see her.

I managed to stay in town until then, so I never used this audio file at all, which is why it escaped my memory.

Anyway, for pastors out there who are thinking of resigning or are curious about pastoral resignations, here’s how mine went! I basically said this to the church in person, just a lot more crying and blubbering was involved. I did not record the actual resignation sermon knowing I’d just be sniffing through the whole thing.

It’s over two years later now. I am glad I did not toast the church or go out burning bridges, which I could have done. My flesh would have enjoyed that. But I am grateful that did not occur. You can, or at least I can, hear when I got close!

So, I put this here in the off chance someone is interested. Click here to give it a listen.