Being Intentional About Not Using the Word Intentional

THEM: Evangelism should be intentional.

ME: Yes, the curse of accidental evangelism must be stopped immediately!
@FailingPastor

I am not a hip or cool pastor. I doubt “hip” and “cool” are even words “hip and cool” pastors use anymore. I don’t even try. Cool is subjective. Too many cool people look stupid to me. I don’t trust “cool.” It shifts with the tides of human esteem.

One of the ways people know I’m not cool is by looking at me. If that doesn’t do it, then listen to me.

I avoid cool words like the plague. Cool words like “intentional.” Just the sound of it makes me want to barf. I’m amazed I was able to type that without puking on my keyboard. Massive levels of restraint here; I have my body under subjection.

Intentional means “to do something deliberately, on purpose.” The antonym is “accidental.” I looked this up in a dictionary, because of that whole “I’m not cool” thing I was talking about earlier.

So, here’s my question: who are these people who are doing accidental evangelism? Furthermore, please explain, with as many small words as possible, why these people must be suppressed?

I’m totally cool with people doing accidental evangelism. There’s a chance it’s way more effective than your pre-planned, cookie-cutter, intentional approach.

I know, I’m just being an old curmudgeon, an old curmudgeon, by the way, who is not cool. But still, I will raise my point and scold all you young, hip guys that words mean things and we should be careful.

I was once told that pastors need to be “thought leaders.” As opposed to Feeling Followers I suppose. Am I leading other people’s thoughts? Isn’t that typically referred to as “brainwashing?” I don’t want to be in charge of people’s thoughts. I want people to have the mind of Christ.

Or am I to be a thought leader as in coming up with original thoughts? People with “original thoughts” in Christianity are often called “heretics.” To be honest, I’ve had about enough of Christians’ thoughts and think perhaps we should bring our thoughts captive to Jesus Christ as thought followers.

I just don’t get it. The way people use words these days makes you think that no one has any idea what they are talking about. To cover up their ignorance, they use fancy words and jargon to appear as though they are intelligent and really deep with God-stuff.

Look, if you know what you’re talking about you can explain it simply with simple words. One of the ways to know if someone knows what they are talking about is if you can understand their explanation. If I can’t understand what you’re saying, I assume you aren’t saying anything.

You can keep your fancy words and your half-chewed thoughts. I’m sticking with the simplicity of Scripture. I’ll leave the fancy words to the smart people, me and the dummies will be over here using small words that say stuff.

Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.
–Romans 16:17-18