The Frustrating Work of Helping Sinners Not Sin

THEM: I’m not growing any fruit, what should I do?

ME: Pray. Stop sinning, Pursue holiness.

THEM: What else ya got?
@FailingPastor

This was a real conversation I had with a guy. Through our entire relationship he was adamant that good works were not necessary, and that sin wasn’t that bad because Jesus had forgiven him. Yet I’ve never met anyone so burdened with guilt. He was constantly beating himself up and depressed.

“How come I don’t have any spiritual fruit? Why doesn’t sin just stop?” he asked.

“Because you don’t think sin is that bad and you don’t think good works are that good.”

“Yeah, my good works are just filthy rags and all my sin has been dealt with in Christ. But I just don’t understand why I’m not growing.”

“You should do good things. Paul says in Titus to do good works so you are not unfruitful.”

“Yeah, well, there you go slipping into legalism again.”

We got nowhere. He later left the church.

People are suckers for get rich quick schemes. We all want the shortcut to success. This is just as true spiritually as it is monetarily.

I think most Christians admire Jesus Christ and would be cool with being more like Him. I really think most Christians have a desire to be better people. In fact, most people desire that.

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My Thoughts When Someone Tells Me They Watched a Televangelist Instead of Coming to Church

Telling your pastor what TV preachers you watch while you skip church is not helping your cause.
@FailingPastor

One thing I hate about being a pastor is listening to people’s excuses for skipping church. I’m not interested. If there is a reason you weren’t there, that’s fine, but excuses drive me nuts.

One of the justifications for not coming to church is telling the pastor what other means of edification you partook in while skipping church. This frequently involves telling your pastor what televangelist you watched Sunday morning instead.

Here’s the thing: The majority of pastors on TV are heretical nut-jobs. Yeah, I said it.

If watching a televangelist makes up for not coming to hear me preach, then good Lord, I should have quit years ago.

Watching heretics is about the worst possible thing you could do while skipping church. You’d be better served getting another hour of sleep. Or wake up and drink coffee and stare out the window Talk to your kids. Even going to their baseball tournament is better than watching televised heresy.

Telling me that you watched a televangelist is not winning any points with me. It makes me worry that you think my messages are similar to what you saw on TV. That imbibing in that drivel equals drinking, what I thought, were rivers of living water proclaimed from God’s Word in my sermon.

I’m now more worried for you. I now feel that you need at least four more church services just to make up for the heretical information that is now swimming loose in the slosh of your brain. Instead of justifying your absence of one church service, you now indebt yourself to four more of my church services.

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Why Do We Rely on Church Tradition?

Do something stupid in church long enough and it becomes infallible, authoritative Church Tradition.
@FailingPastor

“A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” Those are the alleged words of Vladimir Lenin, one of the greatest propagandists of all time. Lenin used his propaganda skills to gain power and wield it authoritatively over a helpless people.

One would hope only blatantly evil people would use such tactics to gain power. Unfortunately, hoping this would require you to be unfamiliar with human nature.

I’m stunned by people who believe things based on “church tradition.”

I mean, seriously, have you ever been to church? Have you ever hung around one for years, knowing its intimate details and goings-on? For the love of all things beautiful and good, why would you base your beliefs on what comes out of there?!

This is especially glaring for those who emphasize Sola Scriptura, the notion that Scripture is our sole authority for life and doctrine. Sole authority. “Sole” there means something. “Sole” means the only one!

“Well yes, but Scripture is hard to understand, so we need to get help. Relying on those who came before us is a safeguard for knowing what Scripture is saying.”

So, I need 2,000 years of insane people doing insane things in the name of Christ to properly understand the Scriptures? How about the Holy Spirit? Is He enough, or do I need all kinds of dead guys?

“Well, we test what the Spirit says by seeing if He said the same thing to others in the past.”

So, the only test of whether the Spirit is teaching me is if the teaching lines up with people I have no guarantee had the Spirit?

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The Case for Long Sermons

“And sixty-fifthly. . .”

–Me about to wrap up a sermon
@FailingPastor

I preach long sermons. I really do. I feel bad for people.

Here’s the thing: I’m actively trying to make them shorter. I’m amazed how my sermons can consistently be 35 minutes in practice, and yet stretch to over 45 when preached in church. I feel bad.

But not really.

When it comes to sermon length, you kind of have to fit into what the church allows. If people are used to going to church for an hour, or an hour and a half, that’s what they expect to have happen. There are allowable minutes for prayer, scripture reading, singing, special music, offering, all sorts of things. The sermon gets shoved in between that stuff.

That stuff may have a place (although I think offering should go the way of the dodo bird), but the preaching of the word really is the point of a church gathering. I’m shocked how many people don’t understand this. Then again, no one comes to my church, so . . .

The best advice I ever heard about preaching was:

If you don’t have anything else to say: don’t!

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Why Church Hopping Exists

Our new Church Motto:
If you didn’t like your old church, you won’t like this one either. Go away.
@FailingPastor

An older man told me he’s left every church he’s been involved with because of conflict with leadership. Imagine my surprise when he left my church over a problem with me.

Another guy who left my church in the rudest way anyone has, later got kicked out of, yes “kicked out of,” the next church he went to.

A family left my church because they disagreed with pretty much everything we did. The wife decided to go to school to be a pastor. Now she can run a church right.

I was told that one family who left my church has also left every church in town. All the pastors know them, as they all were their pastor at one point.

One couple, who attends my church about six-months at a time, constantly bounces in and out of churches six-months at a time, trying all the new pastors as they come in. They never settle anywhere.

The majority of people who have left my church haven’t joined another church. I believe this will work out well for the church, but be a complete disaster for them personally.

When you’ve been a pastor long enough you get used to people coming and going. Sometimes you know why; sometimes you don’t. But news travels. I end up hearing what they are up to after they leave. Based on the later stories and interactions, I understand more why they left and most of the time, it wasn’t our church; it was just troubled people having troubles with everything.

When people leave my church, I try not to take it personally. I feel bad for them, most of them go on to prove they have deep spiritual issues that need dealing with. Some do hurt the church. Some hurt me deeply. Some are misunderstandings and personality conflicts that make me wonder if I should still be a pastor. Others just make sense.

“There are no perfect churches because there are no perfect people,” is the cute cliché that’s supposed to make us feel better about our ineptitude. There is a point to be made there, but I still think churches can be better.

Hopping around until you find one that already meets all your requirements, will not only frustrate you, it won’t help any church.

There is much irony in pastors complaining about church-hoppers when pastors stay at a church for four years on average. Perhaps people are just following our lead? Dedicate yourself to a church.

Churches are not commodities to be weighed and compared and priced. The church is a family. You’re not supposed to ditch your family for a better one. Of course, this illustration doesn’t make much sense in our culture where ditching your family for another one is no longer taboo.

The church is a body. When one member hurts, all members hurt. We do our part collectively to keep the whole body strong. Of course, this illustration doesn’t make much sense in our culture where most of us are overweight and lazy. We don’t take care of problems, we just get them medically treated or covered up. Easier to buy a drug than maintain disciplined diet and exercise.

The church is like a building. It’s made to last, to weather the storm, and provide shelter and comfort for years. Of course, this illustration doesn’t make much sense in our culture where people move and we ditch old parts of town for new houses on the outskirts.

So, yeah, none of the illustrations for church make much sense anymore. It should not shock you that people are not loyal to your church. Grass tends to be greener in other fields. Other pastors are always better than the one you have.

I don’t let people leave without checking in on them. It saddens me to see the state of the church today, but more so to see the state of people who leave churches all the time. These are hurting people and the church is hurting right along with them.

But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.
–Ephesians 4:15-16

The Body of Christ Needs Its Toes Stepped On Sometimes

Every once in a while you gotta preach a sermon that could get you fired.
@FailingPastor

I live four miles from where I preach, but some Sundays, it seems to take forever to get there. I’m nervous, sweaty, and anxious of how the sermon will be heard.

“Well, we’ll see if I get fired over this one,” I’ll say to my wife as we pull into the parking lot.

Luckily for me, no one at my church cares enough to fire me. I have that going for me. Instead of firing me, people just leave. I can pinpoint the sermons that facilitated individual’s departures.

I know when I’m stepping in it. If you spend any amount of time with the people in your church, which you should incidentally, you will know where they get hung up. You know the passages they routinely misapply, ignore, and trample under foot. Each church has its agreed upon doctrines you best not touch.

Every once in a while you need to touch those doctrines. You need to cross into dangerous territory and touch on those verses no one is supposed to touch.

If your church is Calvinist, do a sermon emphasizing Arminian proof texts, and vice versa. Bring up warning passages to churches hung up on Easy Believism and preach the verses on assurance and security to those who constantly bash people with fear. You know where your church is, you know the passages: they’re the ones you know you can’t bring up.

I know you know which ones they are! You get that feeling in your stomach just reading them. You hear a pastor on the internet talk about a passage and your head thinks, “Yeah, no way could I say that in my church.”

Sure you can. You’re just chicken!

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What Pastors Desperately Need: More Advice

Perhaps the guy who spends 39 more hours a week in church than you do knows what’s going on there.
@FailingPastor

Everyone knows how to be a pastor. I like to think it’s because pastors are so good at their jobs they make it look easy, like anyone could do it.

But alas, I don’t think that’s what’s going on. In fact, based on what people say and how they say it, they think pastors are incompetent.

They assume we need their advice. They assume we aren’t paying attention, that we don’t know what other churches are doing, and that we have our heads buried in communion wine all week.

What’s more amazing is that the advice givers are the ones who are least at church. As if being at church for one hour a week three times a month lends a certain insight. A fresh-take that those who spend their week in church wouldn’t see.

For instance, every single person who has left our church, I knew months beforehand that they would. I could feel it, sense it, pick up on the vibes. I knew it was coming.

Advice Givers don’t realize those people have left until about three months later. “Where are John and Rita? I haven’t seen them for a while.”

“They left the church several months ago.”

“Really?” they say with incredulity. “Well, I knew they were having problems. You know what you should have done?” They go on for several minutes explaining what I should have done, which has amazingly nothing at all whatsoever to do with the problem John and Rita had.

Then they follow that up with, “You know what you should do?” They then give me various strategies for getting John and Rita back, none of which have anything to do with why John and Rita left. Typically this advice has something to do with Jesus leaving the 99 to go get the 1, which has nothing to do with the situation at all.

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One Big Reason People Ask Pastors Questions: Divine Permission

Never assume when someone asks you a question that they actually want your answer.
@FailingPastor

When I first began my pastoral career I was flattered when people asked me questions. I happily answered, assuming my answers would be appreciated and maybe even followed.

One woman was struggling with her 20-year old son who still lived in her house. “He wants tattoos. I don’t know. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t want to let him get them. Should I demand he not get them?”

“Well, at a certain point you have to let your kid grow up,” I said. “You need to cut the cord at some point and let the kid make his decisions, good or bad, and learn to sink or swim with them.”

“Hm,” was her reply.

I later found out she asked one of the board members the same question. They said she had every right to determine what her 20-year old son did.

Guess who she listened to?

It t’weren’t me.

She was already going to die on the hill of tattoos with her son. She had already determined there was no way on God’s green earth her 20-year old precious boy was going to get a tattoo. My answer did not agree with her stance. So she asked around until she got someone who gave her permission to do what she wanted to do.

People are not asking their pastor questions for answers; they are looking for permission.

There are exceptions and you will learn over time who the three people are who truly value your opinion and have a desire to learn. You will also learn all the other ones who merely want you to ease their conscience.

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Pastors: Don’t Forget to Evangelize Your Church

The job of a pastor is to get people who think they are saved to actually be saved.
@FailingPastor

I’m not entirely positive about this, but when Paul tells Timothy to “do the work of an evangelist,” I wonder if he’s talking about in the church.

Usually doing the “work of an evangelist” is interpreted as doing door to door, tract handing out evangelism.

It could very well be talking about evangelizing on the street, or outside the context of the church. But I wonder, I just wonder, if he’s not telling Timothy to remember to evangelize in the church. The context shows that he’s talking about preaching the word, and how increasingly people will not pay attention to sound doctrine. Sure sounds like he’s talking about a church context, not just outside it.

After serving for years in one church, I know people pretty well. I have a pretty good sense as to who is taking their faith seriously and who is not. I’ve seen many people leave the church over the years, and some of them even left the faith. I have a pretty good sense what true Christian faith looks like and what a saved person is up to. Yes, the “heart is the key issue” and “God is the judge.” I’m fully aware of this. I also have a brain that pays attention in my relationships to people. I’m not the Final Judge, but I am to minister to people, which requires making assumptions about what they need.

It is my contention that churches are made up mostly of unbelievers. Like maybe even 75%.

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Failing Pastor’s Opinion on “Christianity is a Relationship not a Religion”

“Christianity is not a religion it’s a relationship”

–said by many who can’t keep church unity nor marriage vows.
@FailingPastor

Let me begin by saying that I do believe a believer can have a relationship with God through Christ by the ministry of the indwelling Holy Spirit.

That being said, the idea that Christianity is a relationship and not a religion is a false dichotomy. Why can’t it be both? It, in fact, is.

“Religion” is a word that gets lots of heat. I’m really not sure why. Religion merely means stuff you do religiously, as in regularly, habitually, as a pattern. People religiously do their mornings the same. We do the same stuff at work. We do the same stuff when we come home from work. We are “creatures of habit.” Habit and religion are pretty much the same.

My wife and I have a great relationship. We love each other and have fun together. We also religiously do the same things. We eat the same types of supper, go to the same restaurants, go to bed at the same time. In fact, as any married person knows, if you veer from your typical behavior, your spouse will very quickly ask, “Why are you doing that? You never do that.”

I began eating cereal at night. I told my wife one week to get me a box of Froot Loops from the store. You would have thought the world was coming to an end. The Spanish Inquisition broke out, which I was not expecting (no one expects the Spanish Inquisition). “Look, I just want a bowl of Froot Loops, that’s all. It’s no big deal.”

Relationships are religious, that’s kind of what makes them relationships.

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