Lots of Christians want pastoral counseling to be a Christian version of therapy. The problem with most therapy techniques is that they never end; they want to keep you in therapy. Although this seems pointless, most people are content to be in therapy rather than solve their problems. A win-win where nothing is actually accomplished.
Through years of pastoral counseling I have concluded that it was a massive waste of time. People don’t want help; they want the feeling that they are being helped. They don’t want the problems to go away; they wouldn’t have anything to talk about then.
The Bible gives us answers. It tells us of a new life we can live, possible through the Gospel and the power of the Holy Spirit and being a partaker of the divine nature.
With a true spiritual conversion through the Gospel, new life is possible. But it requires knowing God’s Word and some zeal and energy pursuing and doing what it says. It also requires complete desperation, a whole body and soul longing for deliverance. If that isn’t there, then no help will ever arrive.
People like to talk about their problems. They like getting hugs and sympathy. It becomes a drug. If they solved their problems there wouldn’t be any more hugs and sympathy.
The peril of the Christian counselor is to turn biblical counsel into never ending therapy. The counselor feels good because they are busy and “serving the Lord” and “helping people,” and the counselee feels good because they get the hugs and sympathy and the feels of “doing something.”
There comes a point where a person must decide to shut up and get to work.
If this point never comes, then all the counsel and therapy is just wasting time.
Most want a magic solution that requires no effort or life change. If a person does not want to change their entire life, then they have no interest in new life in the Gospel.
Overcoming sin is not a magic trick. There are no secret formulas or buttons that make temptation disappear. Sin keeps coming. We’re told to fight. Not fight for a couple minutes and then take it easy for the rest of our lives; the fight is daily and hourly.
Battling is essential to New Testament concepts of Christian living. Fight the fight of faith. Put on the whole armor of God. Endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
If you don’t want to fight sin, the Devil, the world, and your flesh then you are wasting everyone’s time, including your own, talking about your “struggles” with Christian counselors.
Do you want a new life or not? If you do, it’s right there, available through Jesus Christ. But as Jesus said, you must count the cost. Are you willing to do the necessary battle to get it, live it, and benefit from it?
If you don’t want new life, then leave the church and its people alone. Go do your weird stuff. Call up some therapist and whine for the rest of your life. Go for it. Skip all the repeating of happy verses and happy clichés, and keep your favorite sins and your worldly therapy. Just leave off your fake Christianity and be honest.
Enough is enough. The world is falling apart. It’s time to stand up and fight. The time for self-loathing, angsty whining is over. It is high time to wake out of sleep. Cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.
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Failing Pastor 
I gave had professional counselors tell me that after the person’s insurance runs out for therapy, they send people to 12 Step groups. I tend to agree with this. A 12 step group will tell the person whether they are full of crap or not and give them a cup of coffee as they toss in a buck into the offering tray. Hence, I am a 12 step group supporter wherever I go.
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Sorry, I suppose I get your frustration but it was pastoral counseling that turned my life around. If you’re looking for immediate results they can often be disappointing, but your words, counseling, whatever you offer may have an impact that you participated in but won’t see.
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I am glad to hear it. I’m not saying it can’t work. What I’m saying is it only works for people who truly want to change. Most don’t, thus most pastoral counseling is wasting everyone’s time. I have hope or everyone I counsel with, but at a certain point it becomes obvious who wants true change.
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Reblogged this on clydeherrin.
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Be careful about conducting “Pastoral Counseling” or “Biblical Counseling.” I knew in girl that was in the process of becoming a therapist, and she told me that the majority of their patients started off going to see their pastor for help, and they only made things worse.
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I suppose this depends on what “worse” means. There are plenty of pastors who have no business counseling. There are plenty of secular therapists who have no business counseling. Choose your counselors wisely.
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This is a pretty dark take on pastoral counseling. I will admit that there were occasions when these sessions turned out to be a waste of time for me and the people I was counseling. But there were other occasions where helping people look again at God’s Word helped them to understand their struggle from God’s perspective and the grace God gives us in forgiveness to turn from our ways. I found that the old adage, “You get what you put into it” applied very well. There were some folks who wanted to whine, complain, or blame. If that was the trend, I would not proceed with the counseling and was straightforward with people about why. But those who truly invested in the counseling benefited because they were genuinely seeking the Lord.
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