Should Pastors Have Mentors?

When I started as a pastor the closest thing I had to a mentor was my father. My dad was a pastor for 30 some years. I’d call him for questions about certain Scripture passages, how to handle weird church people, what you’re supposed to say at weddings, and all sorts of stuff.

He usually answered. Sometimes without sarcasm. It was cool. We bonded quite a bit doing that.

Then he died.

Not only was this a shock to my system as a son, and also because it happened so quickly and soon, but I now had no one to answer my questions.

I asked the Lord that some older man would be available to help me out, give me counsel, and answer some questions. I prayed for years.

There were several men I felt would be good mentors. I approached them. It didn’t go well. One even used what I said in private as a reason to leave the church. I thought I could trust him, that he wanted to help me. I opened up. Guess I shouldn’t have. This does not help a guy seek a mentor.

I prayed for a mentor for years and nothing happened. I was bummed about it, but at the same time, something very cool happened.

Since I had no one to go to for answers to my questions, I figured I might as well go to the Lord! I began reading the Bible voraciously. In the 20 years of being a pastor I read the Bible over 40 times. I’m not saying this to brag (mostly), but as proof that I really began to read the Bible.

I didn’t just do it as a checklist effort either. I had questions and I sought answers. I studied and read and wrote and preached and counseled with what I saw in the Bible. Granted, my church shrunk because few others seemed to have interest in what the Bible said, but I got answers.

Is it good for a pastor to have a mentor? Probably. I’m certainly not against it. But there are two things to watch out for if you do have one:

1. You might not go to the Lord and His Word for answers as much and

2. You may tend to just listen to what they say.

Any good mentor will be aware of such things and will hopefully encourage you to go to the Word and not take their opinion as Gospel. But some who desire to be mentors often seek power or control.

I know some in ministry who have fairly standard doctrine, yet where they veer is where a mentor they respected steered them. Mentors, especially if they are respectable people and have gone through tough times with you, can have an oversized impact on your beliefs. This is something to watch out for.

There are also dangers of not having a mentor:

1. You have a lack of wise counsel and

2. You have no one for true support.

These can be terrible things, I know from experience. I felt very lonely and would have loved to talk to someone who knew the issues I was dealing with, who I was, and who I was trying to help.

Whether a pastor needs a mentor is often stated very affirmatively. I’m not convinced it’s necessary, but I do think it would help.

As in all things: it depends! Who is your mentor? Should they be? Why do you want one? Are you insecure so you need someone to make decisions for you? Do you just want a little help and insight? Is it a shortcut or laziness?

Either way, be careful out there. Jesus Christ is the ultimate mentor and His Word is indispensable. Never rely on any person more than Christ and His Word.

In the end, for me, I wish I had had a mentor, but I have also seen how the Lord helped me when I did not have one. As always, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and He’ll take care of you.

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If you’d like to hear more of my accumulated pastoral “wisdom,” I wrote a book. CLICK HERE to get a copy of it, perhaps it’s the mentoral guidance you’ve always wanted!