I’m a pastor. The main perk of this is that I don’t have to go to another pastor’s church.
Although being a pastor gives me a legitimate excuse not to go to another pastor’s church, I still know pastors. I know quite a few pastors. Pastors know things about pastors that most church-goers are unaware of.
Pastors are kind of annoying. Here are the top 5 things I find annoying about pastors.
- Many think church is a business and their job is sales.
The extrovert salesman personality should be an immediate disqualifier for ministry. Unfortunately, about 63% of pastors have this personality. They are constantly selling. Hyper-happy emotion comes out their mouth when speaking of the most mundane things, like reading Leviticus. Their attempts to make mundane faith sound exciting can be summed up with one word: lies. It’s all lies. They lie to people. And it works, for a little bit anyway. People get sucked into their happy vortex until the bottom drops out. People don’t trust pastors and church then because they saw through the lies. It hurts the whole thing.
- Many don’t read their Bible.
I’ve had several pastors tell me they’ve never read the Bible. I’ve heard several be asked if they have heard of such-and-such a verse and replied with “no.” People bash on the biblical illiteracy of Christians. I find this way less troubling than the biblical illiteracy of most pastors. What’s even more condemning is they know by rote memory the doctrine of their denomination while being unable to quote more than 14 Bible verses.
- Many borrow all their sermons.
Since pastors don’t know the Bible, they can’t come up with sermon ideas. Therefore, most pastors get their sermons from other pastors who have also probably not read the Bible. How far removed are some sermons from a guy who actually read the Bible? You probably don’t want to know.
- Many are trying way too hard to fit an image.
Whether this is the obese, glasses wearing Baptist image, or the young, cool, glasses wearing hipster image, or the polo shirt wearing, short haired, sort of casual coffee drinker image. I don’t know. It’s been ages since I met a pastor who appeared to be an individual with individual tastes and personality. Conformity to a group is a sign of worldliness. Conformity to Christ looks different. If you are developing personal faith with Jesus Christ, I guarantee it’s going to look different at least once or twice a day from what most people are doing. But pastors keep what they think is the “right image.” I imagine most of this is done for career advancement. Churches hire guys who fit the “right image.” Be with your people and be you with them.
- Many have terrible kids.
If your kids are terrible you shouldn’t be a pastor. That’s not my opinion, that’s the Apostle Paul. Get your kids under control. I know, you went to seminary; you’re not qualified for anything else. Little monster Aiden will grow out of it, it’s “just a stage.” No it isn’t. Your kid is horrible. You have no idea what you’re doing. Just stop. Get out. Paul says you’re not qualified. You’re doing greater damage to the church.
I’ll stop with five.
One thing I will say is that thanks to all these terrible examples of pastors I’ve seen, I know better how to be a pastor myself. So, thank you. You’ve at least helped one guy. Unfortunately, I shudder to think how many souls you’ve condemned along the way.
Being a pastor is a serious undertaking. It isn’t a career. It’s a living sacrifice. The church does not exist for your career advancement. Either give your life to edify the people, or go sell insurance.
If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;